If you follow me on Twitter, you may know that money is a little tight for me right now and I have a real chance of being jobless next year. Not that that makes me special, just joining the ranks of those hit by the current recession a little late.

Last month was a hard one, and despite finding and depositing the money on the day some direct debits were due, my bank bounced them and charged me for the pleasure (apparently you need to do that the day before they were due, but who’s counting).

I wrote them a letter asking that, on this occasion, they waive the charges, otherwise I would be in the same position this month and the cycle would continue. I received their letter of refusal this morning.

This is my reply:

I am in receipt of your letter dated 27 September 2010.

Thank you for your prompt reply. It is good to see that you are committed to helping out your customers when they are in financial difficulties. I joined the Co-Operative as they had a reputation for being an “ethical” bank, clearly this was A Big Mistake™

You will be pleased to know that, as you have refused to waive the charges amounting to £80.00 on this occasion, I will likely be overdrawn again this month, incurring more charges to line your pocket with while I go further and further into debt as the cycle continues.

Once I recover from these current financial difficulties, which will likely be in the year 3452, thanks to your generosity, I shall be switching banks, if indeed banks still exist at that time. Maybe I will just switch chips in my head, either way, I think you get my point.

I hope you get a really super bonus next year, while I lose my job due to government cuts in spending, perhaps you could donate some of it to Shelter, so I have somewhere to live.

For the record, when I contacted you on 7th September, I was not refused a refund, I would have had to ask for a refund in order to be refused one. I merely contacted you to enquire why you had not paid the direct debits when the money was in the bank.

I hope they at least enjoy reading it, if indeed they bother to read it at all.