Inspired by Rhiarti’s letter to her 15 year old self, here is a letter to a broken 34 year old me (in response to yesterday’s blog).

You know girl, you’re right, life sucks beyond the telling of it right now. The good news? It won’t always be that way. The bad news? It’s gonna suck for just a little while longer, but you’re stronger than you know, and you will get through this. Not without a few scars, but who’s interesting that doesn’t have a few marks that tell the passage of time?

This, right now? This is your body telling you to take it easy for a while. A foreign concept to you I know, but listen to it, you’ll thank it in the end. Stop trying to live your old life, stop pushing yourself to stay fit and stay in work, concentrate on your health in other ways, go part time at work now, don’t wait for the next crash and the one after that (cos I promise you they’re coming). If you must get some excercise (which I know you must) try some gentle yoga, meditation and relaxation techniques. Don’t over do it. Trust me, you’ll be back to your old self much, much quicker this way.

There is a reason for this, and it’s actually pretty close to what you think it is, listen to yourself, you know your body better than anyone and you know this isn’t just random bad luck. There’s a reason, and that means there’s a treatment. Go looking for it now. Don’t trust the NHS.

Above all, stay positive sweetie, don’t turn into that grumpy, bitter, old woman that lurks beneath, you don’t like her, she’s not really you and no good can come of her. See you on the other side, the water’s lovely.