According to my Twitter feed, the two lead actors from Supernatural are both now happily married to much wailing and crying and general heartbreak of their fans. This is an attitude I have never, ever understood. What, you think if they didn’t marry the person they have met and fallen in love with, they would somehow meet, fall in love with, and marry you? I hate to shatter any illusions here, but, never gonna happen. Why can’t people just be happy that their hero is happy?

I see this happening in pretty much every fandom, the wives and girlfriends of actors and pop stars get abused, hate mail, death threats, in one case they actually tried to get someone deported when they discovered she was Australian (wtf?).

Now don’t get me wrong, I understand what it is like to feel like you are in love with a celebrity. I was a teenager once too. I obsessed over this one singer, I really did believe I was in love with him. His face adorned my walls and my school books, I lived and breathed his music, doodled his name, dreamt about him sweeping me off my feet, the works. I followed him the length and breadth of the country when he was on tour and hung around backstage afterwards for an autograph. But did I ever believe for one moment that somehow he would ever really feel the same way about me? A world of no.

During this time he met and married a model that appeared in one of his videos. I was happy for him. I clearly remember one time, when she was pregnant, hearing him speak of her and their forthcoming child with such pride and love that I just fell for him all over again. When they eventually split up I was upset for him, and felt his hurt and betrayal in the lyrics of his next album.

Funny thing is, I did actually get that opportunity that many groupies long for (and lots actually do experience). I was working by this point and had money of my own, so the next tour I was able to get tickets to every single UK gig. My appearance at the stage door every night finally got me noticed and we managed to get hold of backstage passes for the next night. Whilst back stage we got invited to join the party in the hotel; whilst at the hotel, I got invited back to his room, on several occasions. I declined. Or more accurately, I was so busy going ‘OMFG I’m at a private party with HIM and a shit-ton of famous people. OMG OMG OMG’ that I was completely oblivious to what was going on and had to have it pointed out to me. Oh. Darn.

What would have happened if I had taken him up on his offer? Would we have lived happily ever after surrounded by fat grandchildren? Doubtful. I would most likely have just been another notch on his groupie bedpost and lost all respect for him and myself. I had no regrets then and certainly have none now.

A short time after this he met his current wife, and you know who she is? Someone who had absolutely no idea who he was. Because that’s what celebrities look for, someone they can just relax and be themselves with, someone they can have a private life with. So instead of being gutted that X or Y is happily leading a personal life without you, be happy for them. It’s never going to be you, no matter what happens.

And no, I’m not going to tell you who he is, I have my exclusive deal with the News of the World to think about.

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