I’ve just sat through the two hour kick off to Jack Bauer’s eighth bad day, during each ad break of which Sky proudly teased us with Caprica and Lost ‘Coming Soon’. Can you vague that up for me? I don’t want ‘Coming Soon’. You’ve shown me the pretty, I’m interested, in fact, I’d very much like to watch it, now when can I have it?

For the last two months Sci Fi (yes, here in the UK we still call it Sci Fi not SyFy) have been teasing us with large pictures of Morena Baccarin’s head and text proclaiming ‘The Visitors Are Coming’. Yes please, the kettle is on and I have a nice plate of hamsters laid out, all I need now is a rough idea of their schedule. Anyone?

The problem is, with the pair of us working shifts, we’re not always able to watch these programmes as they air, and are sometimes even several weeks behind. We always catch the two to three months of ‘Coming Soon’s’ but inevitably don’t catch the one week they actually deign to give us a date until ‘Coming Soon’ has turned into ‘Started Last Week’. The start and continuation of many a good series, and thus the entire series, has been missed because of this very problem.

I’m reaching out to all promoter types, I really actually do want to watch your TV shows, but I can’t promise to do that if you can’t be a little more precise as to when they are going to be aired.

I thank you.